It’s crazy to think that one year ago today Dave and I got married. In some ways, it feels like that day was an eternity, and we’ve been married for far longer. In other ways, it seems like that day was literally yesterday, and we can’t possibly have been married for an entire year already. Most times, it’s the latter. The time has absolutely flown. It’s been a wonderful year, to say the least. There have been ups and downs; there have been new adventures, and the continuation of old adventures; here have been major milestones and major lessons learned.
All photos by Azena Photography. I highly recommend them for anyone in Wisconsin!
Besides the biggest milestone, the marriage itself, we’ve hit a few others during our first year.
Our road trip through Ireland served as both our honeymoon and our first real vacation together. It was two weeks of just the two of us and a new country to explore. We learned more about each other in those two weeks than I would have anticipated, and did the entire trip without smartphones.
The biggest milestone from our first year of marriage is buying a house! Though we don’t close until June, we had our offer accepted in March, the loan has been finalized, and we’re just waiting for closing day.
Check out this post to find out how we’re preparing for our move one month ahead of time.
Marriage has been a learning experience from the beginning. Despite having lived together for three years before getting married, we constantly have more to learn about each other, about living together, and about being married to one another. Here are a few of the lessons we’ve learned during our first year.
1. Getting married isn’t like flipping a light switch where you wake up the next morning suddenly feeling different, feeling married. I’m sure it’s vastly different for couples who don’t live together before marriage, but Dave and I had almost completely intertwined our lives prior to marriage. We’ve been asked countless times over the last year from friends and family how we’re enjoying marriage, and what it’s like. The only answer I can give them is that isn’t really not that different from being engaged!
2. Marriage isn’t 50/50. I’ve heard people say that marriage should be 50/50. And I’ve heard people say that marriage should be 100/100. I don’t think it’s either, at least not 100% of the time. Sometimes marriage is 50/50. But there are also times when it’s 60/40, times when it’s 70/30, and times when it’s 80/20. What I’m saying is that marriage is about picking up the slack when your partner can’t. It’s being the shoulder for your partner to lean on when they’re feeling weak. It’s about giving your all, and acknowledging that sometimes you don’t have equal amounts to give. Dave and I have both gone through rough patches during our first year. Dave has gone through stressful times at work, and during those times I have done all I can to cheer him up, to support him, and to let him relax when he needs it. I went through a period of unemployment during our first year of marriage, and Dave took on the burden of supporting us 100% financially, and well over 50% emotionally and mentally.
3. Coming from different family backgrounds, I think Dave and I had a few expectations about marriage that didn’t entirely line up. The first year of marriage has been a period of learning those expectations and tossing a few of them aside in place of new, shared expectations of what we want our marriage and our life to look like.
Needless to say, our first year of marriage has been a wonderful one. It’s been my favorite year to date. And while I’m sentimental looking back on our first year, I’m also excited for what year #2 has to bring We’ll officially become homeowners. We’ll continue to learn about each other and plan our life together. We’ll take on major projects for our new home, and surely test each other’s patience. I’m sure it’s going to be a wild ride.
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