If you’re engaged or married, you’re probably familiar with the concept of the “post-wedding blues”. Maybe you didn’t (or won’t) experience for yourself, but there’s a good chance you know someone who has. For anyone totally unfamiliar with this concept, essentially is a period of blues or even depression, that brides (or grooms) might go through after the wedding. For many it results in the reality shock of going back to normal life after the glamor and attention of planning a wedding. Or maybe it’s that you simply don’t have another way to fill the time that was once filled by wedding planning. If you haven’t planned a wedding, the idea of post-wedding blues might seem ridiculous to you, but it’s a very real thing. Not every bride goes through it, but it’s certainly a prominent thing. It could be something a simple as looking back at your wedding with bittersweet feelings because it was an amazing day and you’re bummed that it’s over. Or it could be something as full-fledged as depression. Either way, there might be some ways to take your mind off the post-wedding blues and focus on what’s in front of you!
Focus on Your Marriage
One of the biggest issues with how massive weddings have become is that so many people spend so much time preparing and planning for the wedding day, but not what comes afterward. Your wedding day might be the first day of your marriage, but it’s certainly not the most important part of your marriage. If you are going into wedding planning without talking with your spouse at all about what comes afterward, you might want to rethink your priorities. One way Dave and I were able to start focusing on our marriage early was to go through premarital counseling. It was a great experience for us, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone else!
You Might Also Like: Premarital Counseling: Why It’s Important and What We Got Out of It
Celebrate the Little Moments
Once you’ve planned and experienced a giant, glamorous wedding, other things in life simply might not seem as glamorous anymore. But it’s important to still celebrate and get excited about little moments. Like date night! So you aren’t wearing a stunning white dress and eating dinner surrounded by everyone you know. That weekly date night might become a cornerstone of your marriage, and that’s definitely something to celebrate. Things like going on a date, taking a weekend getaway, or redecorating your home might not seem as exciting at face value as a wedding, but they’re part of your marriage, which is more exciting than a wedding!
Pick Up a Hobby
Like blogging! Seriously, I think blogging is one of the big reasons I didn’t go through the post-wedding blues. Wedding planning can be so time-consuming! If you’re having a short engagement, wedding planning might be taking up literally almost all of your free time because you have limited time to plan. If you had a long engagement (like me) wedding planning has been a major focus of your life for years! You might just need something to fill that time. I was relieved when the wedding-planning was finished because I had so much more time to focus on your blog, so I definitely suggest finding a hobby that you’ll be excited about using your free time on.
Connect With Family and Friends
Perhaps some of your post-wedding blues is a result of either feeling disconnected from family now that you’ve started one of your own, or feeling disconnected from friends because you aren’t seeing each other as much. I’m really close to my family, so luckily I didn’t feel any kind of disconnect from them once Dave and I had started a family of the two of us. But I did begin to feel disconnected from friends! Many of my friends live quite a distance away, but they were able to make time to come to wedding events such as the shower, bachelorette party, and wedding itself. It was definitely a bummer when the wedding was over and I wasn’t seeing them as much anymore. But just because you’re not seeing your friends doesn’t mean you can’t stay in touch!
Connect With Other Newlyweds
Before the wedding, I connected with a group of women online who were also planning weddings (I’m a blogger, so naturally 99% of my friendships start online). We talked all the time through our planning our wedding, and have become awesome friends. Now all of us are married. It’s amazing to have friends to talk to who are at a similar point in their lives. Talking with others who are married might help you to focus on the marriage stage, versus the wedding-planning stage you’re stuck in.
Take Advantage of New Skills
You probably learned a skill during wedding planning that you either didn’t know before or a skill you just didn’t know you had. When I decided to design our own wedding stationery, I did a lot of research and practicing. So by the time our wedding had passed, I felt comfortable setting up an Etsy shop selling wedding stationery!
Start Preparing Pre-Wedding
One of the most likely ways to suffer from post-wedding blues is to my your entire engagement all about the wedding. If every conversation you and your spouse had somehow revolved around the wedding, or you constantly wanted to talk wedding with your closest friends, it’s not a surprise you’re in a slump now! Make sure to talking about and doing the things with your friends that you did before you got engaged (I promise your friends will appreciate it) and have at least one night per week with your future spouse with zero wedding talk.
Plan New Things
For the last year, two years or more you’ve been focused on planning one major life event. It might feel strange not to be planning anything. So plan something new! It’s unlikely you’ll ever plan another event the caliber of your wedding, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get excited about planning other things with your new spouse. Maybe you’ve started planning on buying a house, or having children. Or, it could be something as small as planning what local restaurants you want to try now that you’ve got all this free time on your hands!
Did you experience post-wedding blues? How did you handle it?
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